White Flag
by Shaitanah
Summary: A series of drabbles about DN characters. # 1 Bad Religion - Mello's feelings and thoughts about L. Please R&R!


**Title**: "Bad Religion"

**Author**: Shaitanah

**Rating**: PG-13

**Summary**: 13 very short drabbles (no more than a few sentences each) about Mello and his feelings and thoughts on L. (Spoilers for L and Mello's real name) Please R&R!

**Disclaimer**: _Death Note _belongs to Ohba Tsugumi and Obata Takeshi. Words taken from Random Word Generator.

**A/N**: Practicing short forms))) It's kind of fun, though such drabbles are not quite my style. But I think I'll be doing them from time to time.

* * *

**BAD RELIGION**

**Imperative**

It is a moral imperative that no concessions should be made. Mello knows this. That's why he will do anything, _everything_ to surpass Near – in order to get closer to L.

**Glass**

He falls asleep by the window only to be awakened by a chilly gust of wind that throws a handful of snowflakes into the room. Mello presses his forehead against the cool glass, hoping to see a familiar car in the dead of night. Nope. He missed the car. He smiles when he feels L's presence in the room and slowly turns to grin at him.

**Someone**

They say it's important to grow up and become someone. But Mello never wanted to be _just_ someone. He wanted to be L.

**Physiology**

He ponders his relationship with people. With Matt, it's pure physiology: the annoying aroma of tobacco clinging to the back of his throat afterwards, hard thrusts and strained outcries, teeth locked around some particularly sensitive piece of skin. With Near, it's years of hate, envy and unrequited lust. With L, it's… respect and a veiled promise. But L is dead now and he'll never fulfill that promise.

("_Mello is better than he would like to appear._")

And so with L, it's betrayal.

**Royalties**

He doesn't need royalties. He doesn't work for the money, though he is far from being poor. Mello watches and learns. And when the time comes he works for the only fee that really matters to him after L's demise: the satisfaction of revenge.

**Ward**

Not every ward of the Wammy's House knows about the Program. Those who do work hard to become like L and – the ultimate goal – to replace him. And sometimes, just sometimes in the dead of night the children lie in beds without sleep and wish they _didn't know_.

**Quicker**

"It would seem that N is quicker than M," L says. He doesn't have to explain him his mistakes but he obviously doesn't mind doing so. "But M is not slow. Perhaps M is just too fast. To miss the finish line is not quite the same thing as winning. Sometimes inaction is the highest form of action."

Mello wonders if L has stopped in the final hours of his life and let the current carry him away.

**Wrath**

Kira thinks he's a God. Does he now? Mello bites the inside of his cheek to contain a scream of rage. "I'll show you where divine wrath may come," he whispers hoarsely as he prepares to leave the orphanage. Beyond the gate he lets rage engulf him. Because in the end it's better to be enraged than hurt.

**Dubious**

There are whispers in the dark. Mello lies in bed and tries to get rid of dubious thoughts. He's not afraid, he's not afraid, _heisnotafraid_, dammit! He pricks up his ears. He can hear footsteps very close. He knows tomorrow is some big day – because Mr Wammy is here – and he's not really surprised to hear his voice in the hall.

"Here is his room."

And another voice, husky, low, oddly familiar, utters: "What's his name?"

"Mihael."

Mello can't explain why but suddenly he feels very important.

**Wretched**

There are many words Roger would use to describe Mello. Smart, talented, persistent, outgoing, self-confident… The list may be very long. But there is one word that Mello especially likes hearing from the elderly caretaker. "Oh, this wretched boy again!" Roger would say after another particularly vicious prank of Mello's. That word, wretched, uttered in kindly old man's annoyance makes L's lips curve slightly upward in a semblance of a smile – and that's the best reward for Mello.

**Flags**

Mello takes one of Near's shirts and tears it to pieces to make a white flag. He throws it out of the window and watches it land in the mud, and laughs. "I'll never give up!"

**Tile**

He bleeds from the nose on the white bathroom tile. The whole bathroom is so dazzling white that he shuts his eyes, otherwise it would hurt him, reminding him of Near – and the one whose place he's taken. Mello would always choose bleeding over crying. It hurts less.

**Sharply**

In the final moments before his heart stops beating Mello inhales sharply and thinks: "I hope you win… L."

He has no time to realize it is Near he's talking about because L the First is dead and L the Second is an impostor. It is Near who will call himself L in two days.

_February 6–8, 2008_


End file.
